My breath is shallow and ragged. My heart attempts to pump through thick, viscous syrup, and it’s struggling. My hands shake, and my thoughts race.
I am overcome with anxiety.
This isn’t abnormal for me. I get hit every now again with feelings of overwhelm, or inexplicable feelings of doom and gloom. Although, today I know the trigger.
Travel.
Let me preface this by saying, I love to travel. When I am finally at my destination, far away from my hometown and other responsibilities, I find it exciting and fun. I would not go so far to say that I am an adventurous person, but I do love the occasional adventure.
However, my travel often carries its own heavy baggage, known as travel anxiety.
Don’t ask me why I get it. At my core, I know I will enjoy every trip, every vacation, no matter how near or far. However, for some reason, my body and mind rebel. I am hit with an avalanche of worst case scenarios, and mystery aches and pains. I would say, these thoughts and physical manifestations often appear and persist a week before every planned trip or outing.
Bluntly, travel is scary to me. I do not know if it is the thought of leaving the comfort of home, exploring new and unknown places, or what.. it always sends my body into fight or flight mode.
Sometimes it can make me want to cancel a trip altogether. It would be so much easier to stay home in my sweatpants, drinking coffee and watching Jane the Virgin, right? Why bother?
But with risk comes reward.
Do we always turn away from things because they are scary? Because they do not come naturally to us?
You already know the answer.
We do hard things, because the outcome is greater than the pain it takes to get there. My last post mentioned how in life we crave challenge and risk to feel like we are moving forward in life, to be truly satisfied.
So I have packed my bags, friends. I have made the appointments, confirmed the hotels. My mouth is dry and my hands still shake. I am terrified, still.
Travel is scary.. but I am doing it anyway.
Aurelia Krane 